Friday, 15 February 2013

Same Sex Adoption? That's So Gay!

When I started this blog, I had no idea what I would write about. When I re-started it I had even less of an idea of the direction I wanted to take it in. I guessed most of it would be about body image and positivity, which as most of you will know now is something that is very dear to my heart. However, what is also very close to me is people being given a fair chance. 

Today I was horrified to read that the Welsh Secretary had made some statements about gay adoption. Now, I know that same sex adoption is something that has very much split public opinion and I am not asking you to agree with it. However David Jones statement about gay couples "clearly" being unable to provide a "warm and safe environment" is wrong. As someone that is in authority, I feel that he should only use facts and figures when he makes comments about such important events. I would like to know where his facts come from that gay couples are "clearly" unable to provide a safe environment for children.
"I regard marriage as an institution that has developed over many centuries, essentially for the provision of a warm and safe environment for the upbringing of children, which is clearly something that two same-sex partners can't do." 
I was lucky enough to grow up in a stable household. I had two parents who were married (to each other!) and two siblings who shared the same set of parents as me. It wasn't until I was about 14 that I realised how lucky this made me. I now know that not every childhood is so happy and not everyone is so lucky.

If you are against same sex adoption then that is your right to be so... but I do feel that any stable home is better than a care home (although I don’t have any experience of these so I am only making an assumption). If two people are willing to go through the strict adoption process in order to team up and give a child a loving home, then in my opinion - let them!

What I do not agree with is gentlemen such as David Jones turning his opinion into statements that make them sound like facts. If there was clear (and unbiased) evidence that showed children were not ever able to have a "safe and warm" environment then I think most of us would be against gay adoption, however as far as I know there is no such thing. 

Instead there are gay couples that adopt successfully and gay couples who perhaps aren’t as good at it - just as there are straight couples and single people who adopt. The sweeping statement that Mr Jones made about gay couples being unable to provide a "safe and warm environment" is ludicrous and he really should make sure he has the facts to back up such a claim before he goes ahead and makes them in the future.

It is probably worth pointing out that he is one of two cabinet ministers who voted against gay marriage although he does not believe he is homophobic, insisting he has "people in my life who are important to me who are gay".

Have a great weekend!

Debz x

Thursday, 14 February 2013

Happy Valentines Lovers & Losers ;)

Happy Valentines ladies and gents. 

I hope whatever you got up to was amazing, lovely and fun! Whether you spent this valentines in a relationship or you spent it loving yourself, I hope you used it as an excuse to show someone, somewhere some loving! 

I was very lucky to get some amazing presents off of my flatmate and her boyfriend which made me smile lots! 

What made my day most was waking up and realising how I spent valentines 2 years ago. I actually don't want to talk about that, as that is not what this blog is about! 

All I will say to anyone who woke up 'alone' this Valentines is that waking up in your own bed all by yourself is better than spending your time in a unhappy relationship where you are constantly left unsure of yourself.

Anyway, back to 2013 and what is happening right here, right now.

I had an interesting date last week... which left me with the reassurance that this dating game hasn’t gotten any easier!! The 'man' got very drunk before he met me - apparently due to nerves & had to leave after an hour because he was so drunk. Leaving me, all dressed up and nowhere to go – Boooo to him!!

But you know it's all part of lifes rich and interesting tapestry. I certainly haven’t given up on love and relationships just because of a few interesting dates!

Me in Lille yesterday
I spent yesterday in Lille eating and drinking my way around the city which was lovely! Over the weekend I spent both Saturday and Sunday very, very drunk – which made me wake up on Monday morning with the realisation that I am far too old for partying hard – I miss my youth!!

So anyway, Happy Valentines Day - Love yourself always, everyone and everything else is just a bonus!!

Debz xx

Saturday, 9 February 2013

Fighting Fire With Fire

Thanks to my amazing friends for their RT's on Twitter for the link to my previous blog post and thanks to random people RT'ing it and even Jodie Marsh commenting on it, over 600 people have read my previous post already - How exciting!! 

Unsurprisingly over the last day or two, plenty of people have had plenty to say on the subject. Newspapers have used Jordan’s comments for headlines and members of both Team Price and Team Brook have taken to mediums like Twitter to share their views.

In a way, I suppose it is a good thing that it has gotten people talking about body image and the expectations that many of us put on our own and other people’s bodies. However what it pains me to see is the fighting fire with fire tactic.

If you are angry at Miss Price for her comments to Kelly then that is OK! If you are upset because her comments hit a nerve with you then that is OK! If you want to tweet Jordan, write to her or put your disappointment online that that is OK! What is not OK is to hit out at the way Jordan looks - two wrongs do not make a right!!

If we want to make a stand for positive body image, then we cannot portray our anger towards Jordan by using detrimental words to describe her body or the choices she has made to alter her image. 

The truth is that no body type is better than another. We are all individuals and what we choose to do to our bodies is entirely up to us! 

Curvy body types are not better than thin and vice versa. Real women do not have curves! Every female is a real woman, despite her body shape - your body does not define you! 

So yes, tell Katie Price what you think of her opinions and have your say on what you think about her comments on Kelly’s body. But, do not use that as an excuse or reason to put down Katie’s body because in the long run that makes you no better than the horrible comments we are trying so hard to fight against.

Happy Saturday

Debz xx

Friday, 8 February 2013

Dear Katie Price...

Dear Katie Price

The chances of you reading this are second to none, but when I read your column in The Sun newspaper today, I felt I had to say something.

I know that you cannot be responsible for the body image of the world, but you can be responsible for the part you play. As someone who chooses to live their life in the public eye you have chosen to become a role model. You did not find this fame by accident; you did everything that you could to be a household name. And you have done brilliantly at it and I respect the celebrity name you have built for yourself.

But please know that the words you say (or print) cut deeper than you ever know. There are girls, women and even men who look up to you as a role model and pay attention to what you say. Should you hold back on your opinion? Maybe not... but didn't you ever learn if you have nothing nice to say then don't say it at all.

You are in a privileged position to be able to afford surgery and procedures to change the way that you look - not everyone has this luxury. I won't deny that you work hard for your body, I am sure that you do - but what you choose to do with your body is not for everyone and you should recognise this.

As a lady with a young daughter growing up in this ever critical world, it is my wish that you use your influence to help females learn to love their body. The truth is that a majority of your fans are probably bigger than a size 10. They read your comments about being 'flabbergasted' at a female’s body and they feel not good enough because of what you say. You have the power to break someone’s body image of themselves. The truth is that actually Kelly Brook has a fantastic body, one that is many sizes smaller than the UK average.

I know that you should not feel responsible for the body image of the world, but surely you prefer your daughter to grow up in a world where females (and males) are taught to embrace their bodies and love everything that they are... Not to hate themselves because they are a size 10 'heffer'.

I am not saying you should advocate obesity, or shout from the roof tops about how being overweight is great... but what is wrong with teaching women or at least helping to influence women to know that their body is good? 

What if a size 12, 16 year old reads your comments and realises that her idol thinks she is a 'heffer'. You could send that poor child on a slippery slope of self hate and who wants that?

If you ever read this open letter, which I know you won't I hope you realise that what you say and what you do does influence the world. You chose to put yourself on this fame pedestal, so now you are up there please try to use it for good. 

Let's teach a generation that there is nothing wrong with loving the way you look. That we can appreciate a whole range of shapes and sizes and that as women we should stand together to be strong against a world that is constantly telling us the way we look is wrong, rather than women who bully each other because we aren't the 'perfect' dress size the cat walk models tell us we should be. 

There is room for everyone, and there is no need to publically bully someone (through whatever medium) because they don't look the way you feel they should.


Debz x

Once Upon A Time...

Once upon a time.. I had a blog! And then I deleted it... Because, well let's not get into that!

Anyway, today I read a news story which made me want to rant - which for those of you who know me, will know isn't rare! I realised I didn't really have anywhere to rant and it made me realise I missed my blog! 

So.... The Not So Secret Diary Of A Wannabe Princess is back!

For those that didn't read before here you can expect lots of rants on current news stories, body positive stuff and while I remain a singleton (for the foreseeable future) some funny, interesting and slightly strange online dating stories!

You'll learn that I type too much, I am as opinionated as hell, I love to take photos of myself, I 'collect' body positive quote photos and I write a lot of nonsense! :D

So... What's New?

Well, since my last blog I turned 30! I know.. scary stuff!! And I moved to the capital city!! 

I have officially been a Londoner for 10 months now... and I am loving it!! 

I am properly single - no dating drama in my life thank you very much!

I don't wear jeans anymore!! 

I love dresses :)

Anyway - so welcome (back) to my blog! I hope you like it - If you don't then Alt F4 is your friend!

Debz xxx