Monday, 6 August 2018

Am I Ready To Date?

I feel like once you start to get older and you remain single, there becomes a pressure to date. People expect you to want to settle down and have a family, so when you don’t do this, they can start to question why this is.

I haven’t always loved dating and I haven’t always had the best experiences, so there are times when I just don’t feel like dating at all. I have always felt happy with this, knowing that my love life (or lack of) is my decision and mine only. But that doesn’t stop people asking why you’re single or when you’re going to settle down. I understand, I’m 35 so a “proper grown-up” but that doesn’t mean that I want to date just for the sake of it.

I have never been one of these people who want to date just because it means a night out. I know lots of people like getting out of the house and so an excuse to go for a drink with someone else is a good way to do this. However, that doesn’t work for me. I only see the point in going on a first date with someone, where I feel like there will be a chance of a 2nd date. I know life doesn’t always work like that, but I do try to live by that if I can.

I always know when I am ready to do and when I need a break, so I would say that you can listen to your own instinct and do what is right for you.

When To Start Dating

Whether you have been single for a while or just out of a relationship, it can be hard to know when to dive into dating again. I would say there are no set rules, people are ready at time times and move at different paces. The best thing to do is go in with no expectations, that way you can just go with the flow and make it something you like – after all, dating is supposed to be fun!

Remember as well, just because you have decided to join a dating website doesn’t mean you have to rush out and meet people. There is nothing wrong with sticking a toe in the water and getting a feel for it before you dive right in. You might even just chit chat to a few people before you get a feel for someone that you really want to get out there and meet – and that’s okay too!

Dating The Right Way

One of the best things about online dating is that you literally get to decide. For starters, there are different types of dating websites out there. Want a casual hook up? Fine! Feel like you only want to date someone really local? No problem! Fancy a sugar daddy? Go for it! Adult dating sites? Go for it! Serious relationship? You got it! Of course, you do need to take lots of online dating and what people tell you with a pinch of salt, but there’s definitely great places to start!

Then of course, when you do sign up you get to choose what goes on your profile and how much of yourself you put out there. For example if you decide sex dating sites are the choice for you, you may decide to keep your profile more vague than if you’re seeking a serious, long term relationship.

When I join traditional dating websites I tend to opt for a nice selfie and a couple of full length pictures. It’s important to me that people can see exactly what I look like and that they are happy with that. I have a few paragraphs about what I am looking for, my body and my expectations. That way, everyone knows where they stand and there should be no nasty surprises. Of course, that isn’t always the case so every time I meet someone I tend precautions to ensure I am safe. Always meet in a public place and let someone know where you are going. 

Don’t go anywhere private with someone until you feel comfortable and it is always okay to go home if you don’t feel safe. Make your own way home and if they insist that you stay, remind yourself you are well within your rights to leave.

Whenever you date, whoever you date, however you date – have fun!

Debz x

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