Showing posts with label blogger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogger. Show all posts

Wednesday, 26 February 2014

Fat Women Real Talk - Cosmo Questions... What Being A Fat Woman Is Really Like!


If you have been reading twitter, blogs or general social media over the last few days, you might have stumbled across lots of people talking the recent Cosmpolition article "What Being A Fat Woman Is Really Like". The article asked two women a set of questions about their life, dating, relationships and more and how they feel fat has affected them - it makes an interesting read! According to the general twitter-sphere, lots of people could relate to the article and it got people chatting! When Claire/ChatterMonkey suggested that bloggers should set about answering the same questions I knew straight away that I wanted to be involved! This is done as a bloggers challenge, so we're all posting them up at the same time! Be sure to check out the links below to read all of the other ladies answers. You can also check out the original Comsopolitan article here.

How do you feel when other women around you complain about feeling/being fat? 

Sad. Sad for them that they don't love the skin they are in, although I know that self-acceptance is a long and hard journey. I know that many people feel angry that someone smaller than them could possible complain about being fat, but I don't mind that. I get that not everyone likes their body and to many people being fat is not something that they would ever be at ease with - and that is OK! I try to tell people the things that I like about their body in the hope that a little bit of my positivity rubs off on them. Generally speaking how others feel about their body doesn't affect how I feel about mine.

How has your body image changed since high school? College? 

I have always been fat, but I don't think I have ever thought too negatively about it. I would say growing up that I was indifferent to my body which meant that it stayed a pretty blank canvas. I didn't hate my body but I didn't really care enough it to do anything with it. It is only over the last 5-7 years that I have come to realise that my body is something to be liked and I now pay more attention to body image, what I wear, how I look etc - which is a lovely place to be in. 




Have you tried dieting? What happened? 

Of course... I have dieted in the past, although never fad-dieted really. Dieting is great if it works for you. It never has for me, because I don't dislike my body so I don't really have the motivation to change it. 

Do you think in your case your weight is partly or entirely genetic? 

No. My sister is a size 10 (and works hard for the body she has) and I am the biggest in my family. I take full responsibility for my weight and realise that my diet and lifestyle play a role in why I am the size I am. If I wanted to be a size 10 I could go to the gym every day and eat well, but I don't have the slightest inclination to do that.

Do you consider yourself healthy? Have there been instances where people assumed you were unhealthy? 

Yes. I would say I am healthy. Of course people assume otherwise, because fat is the demon and it is something that kills us all. I am not naive enough to think that my weight doesn't affect my health, but everyone's lifestyle affects their overall health so I am not unique in that. Generally speaking my health is good and I very rarely have to go to the doctor. *touch wood*

Are your parents both supportive of you at the weight you're at? Have they always been? 

Yes. They don't pressure me into anything. My life is just that, my life to live with my choices. 

How do you think retailers can improve clothes for plus-size people? 

I think clothing can be improved for everyone, not just plus size people. I hate that people assume that plus size is a problem, when it isn't. There are plenty of bodies that cannot find clothes to fit them perfectly - the very thin, the very tall, the very short, those with big thighs and small waists, people with broad shoulders or with bigger feet. Generally speaking I think clothing ranges need to be changed across the board. We need to recognise that people aren't designed to fit into boxed and categories and that we should offer solutions to fit them & not the other way round. 

Do you think plus-size women are judged differently than plus-sized men are? How? 

I guess generally speaking, women's bodies are more sexualised so our shape is paid more attention to. That said ,I don't think we can take away from the fact that men have body issues too. We can't assume that it is a female only problem, because that is not the case at all. I think women assume men are judging them for the way that they look, because women are judging but actually more often than not it is us putting pressure on ourselves rather than other people paying that much attention to what we look like.  But I do think that both genders have their problems - people judge and they don't realise the affect their words often have.




Do you think there’s an assumption made/stereotype that exists about plus-size people? How would you respond to it? 

Yes. There is an assumption that we hate our bodies and would do anything to change. Would I like to be thinner? Yes. Do I want to change my life to be thinner? No. The assumption that I hate my body is wrong - I do not. I embrace it and I love it. I dress it up and I look after it, because it is mine and no one else's. I would be thinner only for ease of life (shopping on the high street, finding a bra that fits etc) but not because I am unhappy. 

There is an assumption that if you are fat, something or someone put you there - a bad experience, an unhappy childhood, a deep hidden secret that you are comfort eating your way through and that is  not the case at all. I know many, many fat girls that are fat just because they are and they totally live life that way, loving every second of it. 

Do you think there’s ever a right way or time to express concern about someone’s weight?

Yes. When someone asks for your opinion and no other time. 

What are the worst things people have said to you about your body? 

To be honest with you, the insults are not very imaginative. Fatty, fat bitch, wow look at the size of her - that's about the extent of it. Are they the 'worst' things? I guess so. But when you're telling me I am fat I don't really let it bother me, because they're not really telling me anything I don't know. 




How did you respond? 

Usually I pull people up on it. A man called me a fat bitch under his breath in a supermarket once. I stopped him and asked him very loudly why he would assume I was a bitch just by looking at me? I told him that he could ask any of my friends and they would tell him I am lovely and not a bitch at all. The shop stopped and everyone looked, but I didn't care. I am strong enough to deal with something like that but others are not, so I stand up to it when I can in the  hope that it stops that person insulting someone else in the future. 

Do you find yourself hanging out with women who are closer to your size?

Of course - who doesn't have friends of a variety of sizes? If you don't then you might want to look at yourself and wonder if you are shallow. I have lots of amazing friends who vary in size from a size 10 to a size 36 (estimates, I have no idea about clothes sizes) and I wouldn't have it any other way. They're all my friends for different reasons and all bring different things to my life, just the way it should be.

How has your weight affected your sex life, if at all? 

I wouldn't say so. Of course it affects the people who are attracted to me - but that is the same as anyone else. Their body and the way they look affects who they are attractive to, nothing out of the ordinary about that.

When you've been single, has your weight affected your dating life?

I could write a book about my dating life - and in fact many people tell me 
I should! I have had a very chequered past when it comes to dating, but I don't put that down to my weight at all. The world is full of weird and wonderful people, I think most of the weird ones I have either dated or they are blocked on my Plenty of Fish account. 




Do you feel weird if the guy you’re with only dates larger women? 

Nope. Would a slim girl feel weird if a guy only dated slim women? We have to accept that men find our bodies attractive. Yes it is about personality and clicking with someone, but you have to find them attractive too - so if they like you and you're fat the chances are they like fat girls too!

Do you feel weird if he's only dated slimmer women before you? 


Not really. I would talk to him about his attraction to me and where it has come from. Sadly lots of men aren't comfortable dating a fat girl and wait a while to get out there and do it, so it wouldn't bother me if I was their first.


So there you have - I have a feeling a lot of my answers will be different to others but there you go. Please don't forget to check out the other ladies doing the posts too, they'll all make interesting reads!

Debz xx


If you liked what you read & want to keep up to date with future posts... You can do so here: Facebook / Twitter / Blog Loving / Pinterest / Instagram / Tumblr /

Monday, 30 December 2013

Dear Now Magazine

It any suprise you to know that some of your readers are fat - their bodies are also normal! 

I was surprised (although may I should not have been) to see your current front page - note I saw it online, I have not parted with my hard earned money to be told by you that MY body is NOT normal.

I find it sad that in this day and age you still feel that it is OK to call bigger bodies abnormal! That if you have the audascity to be bigger than average then a magazine can tell you that you are not normal!


Please tell me - which part of my body do you feel is NOT normal? I get it - I am over weight, I am fat, I am cuddly, plus size - whatever term you want to use that makes you feel comfortable with me and my body. I don't even really care if you feel that people 'like me' should lose weight (that's a whole new issue altogether) but how on Earth you can suggest that any body types are not normal is flabbergasting to me...

Is my body really THAT shocking!?



I'd love to know what other people think of this!

Debz

P.S Thanks to Body Gossip for the image I borrowed!


If you liked what you read & want to keep up to date with future posts... You can do so here:

Monday, 25 November 2013

Taking Shape at Ms Curvaceous

Last night I attended the Ms Curvaceous competition held in at The Camden Centre in Kings Cross. Although it was the 3rd year of the competition, it was my first time attending one - or anything like it! I have to say I am glad that I did.

I don't want to blog to much about names, numbers, facts and figures because I think you can read them anywhere - No doubt there will be tonnes of write ups and reviews online (the hashtag is #MCUK if you want to look it up).

However... I wanted to talk about positivity. The whole competition put such a positive spin on things - great food, great music and great company, what more could a girl want? The girls in the competition were all beautiful and they gave great speeches about their reasons for entering the competition - with positive body image messages and creating a new generation of females happy with their bodies were amongst the most popular reasons given - and what good reasons they are!

I was in turmoil over what to wear, mainly because lots of my clothes are quite casual and blingy - maybe not the best outfit for a modelling competition. Thankfully Taking Shape stepped up to the mark with a new dress and cardigan which they kindly gifted to me last week (thank you!!).




If you come across their brand then be sure to check them out. They're currently opening stores throughout the UK (YAY!) and stock up to a size 26. That said, both of the items I wore were a size 26 and fit me fine - and we all know that's a bit smaller than I usually wear!



Dress - Floral Island Dress
Cardigan - Valentino Cardigan 


The clothes on the site have a mature feel to them, but that doesn't mean you can't dress it up how you want to - because you'll definitely be able too! So, please do not be afraid to experiment - it pays off!! Don't be scared to think outside the box - the labels on these clothes are too small for me, but they still fit me fine - so always try things before you give up on them!

I'll take some better photos another time - but the eye shadow I am wearing comes from the Barry M Smoking Hot Palette which they kindly sent me last month. I have used all of the colours so far and I love it - I just need a chance to take some proper photos. I am by no means a beauty blogger expert, but all I know is that it goes on well, looks brill and stayed on all night - with a bit of sparkle in the silver shade of eye shadow - which all make it a winner in my book!




At the Ms Curvaceous competition I bumped into this bunch of beauts - what a brill end to a fab weekend!




What did you all get up to this weekend?

Debz xx

If you liked what you read & want to keep up to date with future posts... You can do so here:
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I was lucky enough to be gifted some items in this post and I am very greatful, but I am always open and honest in my reviews!

Saturday, 29 June 2013

Leggings For All Occasions!

Earlier this week I blogged about the 4 pairs of bright coloured leggings I bought last week & as of yesterday I managed to wear a pair of them out!

As they're bright, I wanted to make sure that the rest of the outfit contrasted well with them without going to over the top.

In the end I decided to team the blue pair of leggings up with an AX Paris dress I picked up from Simply Be a few weeks ago. I absolutely adore the AX Paris range and if I could, would probably have every single one of their dresses in my wardrobe. The few dresses I have got all fit well and I like the way they nip in to give me a bust but flow over the rest of my body to be flattering.







I decided to team the dress up with the blue leggings as I thought they would be the ideal daytime outfit.

Leggings: Love Ur Curves
Dress: AX Paris
Necklace: Love Ur Curves
Belt: Yours Clothing
Shoes: Primark

I found the leggings a great size & really comfortable to wear. There was plenty of stretch in them, but not enough that they went see-through, which is every girl leggings nightmare!

#FunnyFace

Debz xx



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