Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts

Wednesday, 26 February 2014

Fat Women Real Talk - Cosmo Questions... What Being A Fat Woman Is Really Like!


If you have been reading twitter, blogs or general social media over the last few days, you might have stumbled across lots of people talking the recent Cosmpolition article "What Being A Fat Woman Is Really Like". The article asked two women a set of questions about their life, dating, relationships and more and how they feel fat has affected them - it makes an interesting read! According to the general twitter-sphere, lots of people could relate to the article and it got people chatting! When Claire/ChatterMonkey suggested that bloggers should set about answering the same questions I knew straight away that I wanted to be involved! This is done as a bloggers challenge, so we're all posting them up at the same time! Be sure to check out the links below to read all of the other ladies answers. You can also check out the original Comsopolitan article here.

How do you feel when other women around you complain about feeling/being fat? 

Sad. Sad for them that they don't love the skin they are in, although I know that self-acceptance is a long and hard journey. I know that many people feel angry that someone smaller than them could possible complain about being fat, but I don't mind that. I get that not everyone likes their body and to many people being fat is not something that they would ever be at ease with - and that is OK! I try to tell people the things that I like about their body in the hope that a little bit of my positivity rubs off on them. Generally speaking how others feel about their body doesn't affect how I feel about mine.

How has your body image changed since high school? College? 

I have always been fat, but I don't think I have ever thought too negatively about it. I would say growing up that I was indifferent to my body which meant that it stayed a pretty blank canvas. I didn't hate my body but I didn't really care enough it to do anything with it. It is only over the last 5-7 years that I have come to realise that my body is something to be liked and I now pay more attention to body image, what I wear, how I look etc - which is a lovely place to be in. 




Have you tried dieting? What happened? 

Of course... I have dieted in the past, although never fad-dieted really. Dieting is great if it works for you. It never has for me, because I don't dislike my body so I don't really have the motivation to change it. 

Do you think in your case your weight is partly or entirely genetic? 

No. My sister is a size 10 (and works hard for the body she has) and I am the biggest in my family. I take full responsibility for my weight and realise that my diet and lifestyle play a role in why I am the size I am. If I wanted to be a size 10 I could go to the gym every day and eat well, but I don't have the slightest inclination to do that.

Do you consider yourself healthy? Have there been instances where people assumed you were unhealthy? 

Yes. I would say I am healthy. Of course people assume otherwise, because fat is the demon and it is something that kills us all. I am not naive enough to think that my weight doesn't affect my health, but everyone's lifestyle affects their overall health so I am not unique in that. Generally speaking my health is good and I very rarely have to go to the doctor. *touch wood*

Are your parents both supportive of you at the weight you're at? Have they always been? 

Yes. They don't pressure me into anything. My life is just that, my life to live with my choices. 

How do you think retailers can improve clothes for plus-size people? 

I think clothing can be improved for everyone, not just plus size people. I hate that people assume that plus size is a problem, when it isn't. There are plenty of bodies that cannot find clothes to fit them perfectly - the very thin, the very tall, the very short, those with big thighs and small waists, people with broad shoulders or with bigger feet. Generally speaking I think clothing ranges need to be changed across the board. We need to recognise that people aren't designed to fit into boxed and categories and that we should offer solutions to fit them & not the other way round. 

Do you think plus-size women are judged differently than plus-sized men are? How? 

I guess generally speaking, women's bodies are more sexualised so our shape is paid more attention to. That said ,I don't think we can take away from the fact that men have body issues too. We can't assume that it is a female only problem, because that is not the case at all. I think women assume men are judging them for the way that they look, because women are judging but actually more often than not it is us putting pressure on ourselves rather than other people paying that much attention to what we look like.  But I do think that both genders have their problems - people judge and they don't realise the affect their words often have.




Do you think there’s an assumption made/stereotype that exists about plus-size people? How would you respond to it? 

Yes. There is an assumption that we hate our bodies and would do anything to change. Would I like to be thinner? Yes. Do I want to change my life to be thinner? No. The assumption that I hate my body is wrong - I do not. I embrace it and I love it. I dress it up and I look after it, because it is mine and no one else's. I would be thinner only for ease of life (shopping on the high street, finding a bra that fits etc) but not because I am unhappy. 

There is an assumption that if you are fat, something or someone put you there - a bad experience, an unhappy childhood, a deep hidden secret that you are comfort eating your way through and that is  not the case at all. I know many, many fat girls that are fat just because they are and they totally live life that way, loving every second of it. 

Do you think there’s ever a right way or time to express concern about someone’s weight?

Yes. When someone asks for your opinion and no other time. 

What are the worst things people have said to you about your body? 

To be honest with you, the insults are not very imaginative. Fatty, fat bitch, wow look at the size of her - that's about the extent of it. Are they the 'worst' things? I guess so. But when you're telling me I am fat I don't really let it bother me, because they're not really telling me anything I don't know. 




How did you respond? 

Usually I pull people up on it. A man called me a fat bitch under his breath in a supermarket once. I stopped him and asked him very loudly why he would assume I was a bitch just by looking at me? I told him that he could ask any of my friends and they would tell him I am lovely and not a bitch at all. The shop stopped and everyone looked, but I didn't care. I am strong enough to deal with something like that but others are not, so I stand up to it when I can in the  hope that it stops that person insulting someone else in the future. 

Do you find yourself hanging out with women who are closer to your size?

Of course - who doesn't have friends of a variety of sizes? If you don't then you might want to look at yourself and wonder if you are shallow. I have lots of amazing friends who vary in size from a size 10 to a size 36 (estimates, I have no idea about clothes sizes) and I wouldn't have it any other way. They're all my friends for different reasons and all bring different things to my life, just the way it should be.

How has your weight affected your sex life, if at all? 

I wouldn't say so. Of course it affects the people who are attracted to me - but that is the same as anyone else. Their body and the way they look affects who they are attractive to, nothing out of the ordinary about that.

When you've been single, has your weight affected your dating life?

I could write a book about my dating life - and in fact many people tell me 
I should! I have had a very chequered past when it comes to dating, but I don't put that down to my weight at all. The world is full of weird and wonderful people, I think most of the weird ones I have either dated or they are blocked on my Plenty of Fish account. 




Do you feel weird if the guy you’re with only dates larger women? 

Nope. Would a slim girl feel weird if a guy only dated slim women? We have to accept that men find our bodies attractive. Yes it is about personality and clicking with someone, but you have to find them attractive too - so if they like you and you're fat the chances are they like fat girls too!

Do you feel weird if he's only dated slimmer women before you? 


Not really. I would talk to him about his attraction to me and where it has come from. Sadly lots of men aren't comfortable dating a fat girl and wait a while to get out there and do it, so it wouldn't bother me if I was their first.


So there you have - I have a feeling a lot of my answers will be different to others but there you go. Please don't forget to check out the other ladies doing the posts too, they'll all make interesting reads!

Debz xx


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Tuesday, 29 October 2013

Navabi Blogger Award

There are hundreds of amazing blogs voted for the Navabi Curvy Blog 2013 Awards - of which I am one (a nomination at least, not sure about the amazing part)

Anyway - you should most definitely head over to the page to find some more blogs that you like the look of - I will be!

While you are there, you can give me a cheeky vote if you like! (I'm number 286)

Just click on the blog(s) you would like to give your vote to and then fill in the captcha at the bottom of the page!


navabi Curvy Blog Award 2013

Thanks

Debz xx


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Monday, 9 September 2013

My Weekend: Manchester, Hen Party, Cocktails, Makeovers and an Amazing ASOS Curve Dress

I spent this weekend in Manchester at the hen party weekend of my very beautiful friend Gemma :)

14 of us packed into a two bedroom apartment - yes it was chaos for a pyjama party on Friday night. Such a lovely night full of onesies, wine, pizza, silly games and some of my favourite people in the world - what more could a girl need?



On Saturday we went to the MASSIVE boots store in the town centre for makeovers. I was put on the Max Factor counter and asked by the lovely girl what I wanted. Apart from not very 'orange' foundation I basically gave her free reign to do what she wanted - to say I was happy with the results in an understatement - I loved it!


Before and After :)


For the Saturday night we went for dinner and drinks in the Printworks in Manchester. 



I opted to wear this noughts and crosses from ASOS Curve which I bought a few weeks ago and hadnt had a chance to wear yet. I loved the pattern and thought it would be the perfect dress for a weekend of celebration.



I have to say - I loved the dress when I wore it, but on reflection I'm not 100% happy with the style. I think the neck comes out to wide which makes me look much broader than I am. I did love wearing the dress and its a great fit (I sized down from what I normally wear) it's just the neckline that puts me off!

I had a fabulous weekend though! What did you get up to?

Debz 

Sunday, 18 August 2013

The Liebster Award

I woke up this morning and checked the blogs that I follow - nothing new for a Sunday morning really! I am excited that I can add my friend Helens blog to the list, because she has finally started blogging! About time really :) Check out Candifloss Clouds when you get 5 minutes, well worth a read!

Anyway, her newest post was something called the The Liebster Award where you basically nominate your favourite blogs for an award, help spread the word and give 'under rated' blogs the chance to get a bit more exposure! 


The Liebster Award is given to new, up and coming blogs who have less than 200 followers. Awards like these are a fantastic way to spread the word about new blogs who may be struggling to make their name amongst other blogs.
Liebster is German for dearest, kindest, sweetest, lovely, valued, endearing and welcome. Sweet, huh?
We all know that blogging is all about sharing, connecting and building a community. And these kind of awards are a great way to help promote smaller blogs, and to get to know the person behind the blog.


There are of course some rules, these are as follows…
1. Show your appreciation by linking back to the person who nominated you.
2. List 11 facts about yourself.
3. Answer the 11 questions given to you by the person who nominated you.
4. Nominate another 11 blogs, preferably with less than 200 followers, to pass the award on to.
5. Compile 11 questions for your nominees to answer.
6. Notify the bloggers you have nominated.

I was thrilled to see that she had listed me in her list of recommended blogs - Thank you chick! xx

So. 11 Facts About Me:

1) I don't really like meat on the bone, or meat that has been minced. YUK!
2) I live with one of my best friends and her boyfriend
3) Until April 2012 I had never really, ever worn a dress
4) One day I would love to adopt a child
5) I don't ever want to grow up
6) If it's a boyband, chances are I love it
7) I can only drink wine mixed with lemonade (sophistication right there!)
8) I don't think you can ever take enough photos
9) I lived in Essex once, for a grand total of 12 weeks
10) I am scared of flying
11) Until this year I had never eaten sushi

And the questions Helen asked me:

1. What would be the song for your 1st dance at your wedding?

I am not sure I am ever getting married, but probably something by Adele or 1000 years by Christina Perri.

2. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

I live here already

3. Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?

I have no idea, maybe I'll be a grown up by then?

4. What is your dream job?

Boyband manager/promoter

5. If you could go back and re-live one moment in your life what would it be?

My 30th birthday... or my 25th! I dunno!

6. Favourite band?

Far too many to list and I can't pick one!

7. Who would be your fantasy dinner party guests? (pick 7 people)

Adele. Can I just have dinner with Adele? No? Ok.... Adele, My sister, Tess Munster, Lee Brennan, Channing Tatum, Taylor Swift and Natasha Devon.
8. Where is your favourite holiday destination?

Don't really holiday, the whole being scared to fly thing puts a stop to that!

9. What's your favourite film?

A Walk To Remember

10. What is your favourite clothing store?

ASOS Curve

11. Who is your style icon?

Anyone who wears what they want without worrying about what other people think.

My Nominations (some have more than 200 followers but they're the blogs I read the most!)










My questions are:

1) What made you first get into blogging?

2) What is your favourite thing about being a blogger?

3) What makes you want to sit down and read a blog?

4) What tip would you give someone who wants to get into blogging?

5) What is your favourite item of clothing?

6) Who are your fashion and style icons?

7) Where are your Top 3 places to shop?

8) Facebook or Twitter?

9) Birthdays or Christmas?

10) What 3 things would you take on a dessert Island?

11) What song do you recommend I download? 

So, there you have it! Be great if you all want to join in, no stress if not! 

If any of you haven't read the above blogs, please do - they're fabulous!
Debz xx

Sunday, 28 July 2013

How Important Is It To Be Liked? A Look At Social Networking

It pains me to say it, but I don't know much about growing up in this modern world - it has been a very, very long time since I was a teenager trying to find my place in this world. What I do know is that gone are the days when your main worry was being picked last for the rounder’s team during PE - whoever devised that as a good idea for school children needs a very stern talking too and possibly detention.

Now we have the whole new world of social media, whereby we're competing for likes and follows and shares on our photos and funny stories. If we post a photo and only 4 people like it, does that mean we're fat and ugly?




I am a social network whore, quite possibly to unhealthy limits but I love it! Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram - I have, use and love them all. 

However as an uncertain 14 year old I am not sure that my love of all of these pages would be the same? I can imagine being an unsure teenager and posting a photo of myself - if none of my classmates liked it, I can imagine the devastation that could follow. All you want is the guy that sits at the back of the class to notice your photo and like it - is that really too much to ask!? Gone are the days when you can imagine that he smiled at you and that would be enough - now we need the physical evidence that someone LIKES our photo almost as a validation that they like US! (I am talking in very broad terms here)...




Without being dramatic I can imagine it being a slippery slope - your classmate posts a photo of her pouting and wearing too much make up, you go one step further and post a photo in your bikini, or some proactive pose just to get more likes that her. It seems like harmless fun and in many cases it is - but I feel we should be teaching our younger generation that the only 'like' they really need in this world is their own! The truth is that as a 14 year old, the people we rely on so heavily to like our photos probably won’t be the same people we celebrate our first pregnancy with or when we sign our mortgage, so the grand scheme of things they really don't matter.

Then we have the flipside that the confusion of these photos can cause - a boy posts on your photo "wow, sexy" and you like it - have you given him permission to look you up and down and take in every inch of your body when you see him? No! But the posting of your photo and the liking of his comment might lead him to think so!

I am sure that there has always been proactive poses and boys calling girls sexy, but it seems to me (and I am by no means an expert) that this is so much in our faces now... Boys and growing up to be men who think it's ok to message a girl on a dating website and ask to see her tits or to pass her in a bar and smack her on the bottom. I know that this has absolutely always happened, but I think the openness of social networking has let the problem grow. We now have men who think that they can talk to women in a manner they would kill someone for, if they spoke to a female in their family in the same way - who think its ok to grope a woman as they walk past her however young she might be or to simply tell her she isn’t likeable enough. It is absoluetly not ok for men to do this and we need to make a stand and teach our children the right way to behave, so that they can grow up to be adults we're proud of - not lecherous men or unsure women, who behave in such a way that they're damaging other people with their actions.



I love, love, love social networking - the world of social media and bloggers has been an inspiration to me and so many others. It has bought me new friends and opportunities I never know - but I just hope that the trend of wanting 'likes' so badly doesn’t damage our younger generation, because as long as you love yourself the rest will fall into place - you do not need the validation of a certain number of Facebook likes to tell you that you are beautiful, any mirror anywhere will do that for you.

What have your experiences online been like?

Debz xx

P.S I fully understand that this article is in very broad terms and that both genders can be affected in much the same way. I am no expert in this field and this is just an opinion piece and nothing more - thanks for reading!



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Sunday, 23 June 2013

Breaking Barriers in Belgium

Yesterday, I went for a day trip to De Panne in Belgium. When we booked it, it was supposed to be a lovely day, on the beach in the sunshine! However, the great British summer did it's best to ruin it for us! Despite the rain though, it was a lovely day!

While walking through the main town centre in De Panne spotted a shop that seemed to have plus size mannequins in the window (WIN!) so we wandered in. To be honest, I wasn't convinced they would have anything in my size (on a high street.. surely not!) but I was drawn in by the amazing colours of all the clothes they had... I know, plus size clothes on a plus size mannequin in a colour other than black... MIND BLOWN!

Breaking The Barriers

Anyway... All of the clothes were labelled in S, M, L, XL etc so I had no idea on what the real sizes were... But remembering my 'Dress Sizes Are Pants' post, I decided that didn’t matter and I would simply see if they fit me rather than pay attention to the sizes of the label.


The great news is that I came home with two amazing t-shirts (I could have shopped more but we were pushed for time). As you'll see from the pic, the colour and slogan on these is right up street.


I really love the colour and print on both of these t-shirts! They're a bit short to wear with leggings (personal preference) so I shall be investing in some jeans to wear this with! I haven't worn jeans in over a year, but I figure it's all about breaking barriers so I'm going to do it! I'll do a proper outfit post when I have the jeans and give these amazing t-shirts their debut!

I came away with some other amazing bits and pieces from the trip... I arrived back in London last night a very happy girl :)

I'd love to hear about you breaking the barriers clothes purchases & style choices!

Hope you all had a good weekend

Debz xx

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