Anyone who knows me will tell you I have a chequered past when it comes to dating. I am, what you would call an online date. I am on and have been on different dating websites in the vain attempt to meet my Mr Right, or at least someone who wants to take me out for dinner!
And then, I have afternoons like today where I have conversations like this and I am left wondering if online dating is the way forward.
Him - Love a bit of bounce
Me - k
Him - You like skinny boys?
Me - I like polite boys, which actually rules you out
Him - What have I said that isn't polite? Please don't rule me out
Me - 'Love a bit of bounce" Would you say that as the 1st thing you said to someone in a club
Him - Probably
Me - I'm not your type anyway, so let's just leave it as that.
Him - Why are you not my type? I really fancy you
Me - (I quote from his profile" "Would prefer someone who keeps in shape but not so much that they have big muscles. No whales, sorry. I like to weigh more than the girl I am seeing"
Him - That's just a joke. You are very much my type, I like them big
Me - You referred to girls as whales just to make a joke? That makes you not my type. Happy fishing.
Him - you look fun but you seem like you take yourself a bit seriously. Don't know why you're being grouchy. Give me a chance and let me take you out
Me - No.
Him - I haven't been rude to you, your acting like I've done something awful. I'm here to find a relationship
Me - You referred to girls bigger than you as a whale, I'm not interested in anyone who refers to fat women in this way.
Him - Can I send you some flowers to say sorry?
Me - No.
(More mindless conversation....)
Him - I'm a nice person. You're hurting my feelings a bit
Me - Boo Hoo Hoo
Him - What size are those boobatrons?
Me - Whale sized.
Him - I don't care about peoples size. I just want someone to cuddle
Me - If you don't care about peoples size then you shouldn't mention on you profile that you don't want to date a specific type of person and use derogatory term to get your point across.
I'm still not sure what this 'man' wants... whether he's trying to be amusing or he's just not very clever? All I know is that this unorthodox approach to messaging girls on dating websites doesn't seem to be exclusive to him!
Conversation two today:
Him - I'm a big lad, not many can handle it
Me - I'm here to date not talk about the size of your penis
Him - Liar.
Me - Nope.
Him - You know you wanna date a toyboy hung like a horse
Me - Nope. I want to date a decent guy who is nice and fun to be with.
Why, Oh Why?
Sadly, these two men are not alone - and I know that many females reading this will be nodding with acknowledgement that they have had similar messages or conversations (Guys... Is it the same for you? Are us women just as odd?).
I don't know when it became acceptable to ask a woman's bust size, or how much she weighs when messaging her. I don't understand why people who message others on dating websites don't use the same rules for conversation making as they would in real life. You probably wouldn't ask a girl what size bra she wears before asking her how she is in a club, so why should a message on a dating website be any different?
I'd love to hear your dating experiences!