Dating is a funny old game isn’t it? I often wonder what
dating was like before the days of social media, as a majority of my dating
life started online! I imagine the days of dating before we could text someone
as soon as a date has ended and view their Facebook to see if they’re active
and spend time second guessing how they’re feeling and what their thoughts are!
dating was like before the days of social media, as a majority of my dating
life started online! I imagine the days of dating before we could text someone
as soon as a date has ended and view their Facebook to see if they’re active
and spend time second guessing how they’re feeling and what their thoughts are!
Do You Like Dating?
I have a love/hate relationship with dating and definitely go
through stages where I like it more than others. I think sometimes if you have
been dating people for a while you sometimes need a break from it, especially if
those dates tend not to materialise to anything. And having a break is okay,
you have to do what is best to look after yourself and meet your own needs.
When you’re ready you can jump back in, or dip a toe back in as much or as
little as you like.
through stages where I like it more than others. I think sometimes if you have
been dating people for a while you sometimes need a break from it, especially if
those dates tend not to materialise to anything. And having a break is okay,
you have to do what is best to look after yourself and meet your own needs.
When you’re ready you can jump back in, or dip a toe back in as much or as
little as you like.
I tend to go all or nothing, especially when it comes to
dating online. I just watch a website to match
me happy, is that really too much to ask? However, mostly when I am in the
right frame of mind I enjoy dating, meeting new people and going new places –
after all, it passes the time. I try to do low key dates so there is not too
much pressure and I don’t feel too left down if something doesn’t work out.
dating online. I just watch a website to match
me happy, is that really too much to ask? However, mostly when I am in the
right frame of mind I enjoy dating, meeting new people and going new places –
after all, it passes the time. I try to do low key dates so there is not too
much pressure and I don’t feel too left down if something doesn’t work out.
Taking the Plunge
If you haven’t online dated before then I understand it can
be a scary concept, but mostly there is nothing to worry about. I would suggest
starting with free dating websites as
these mean you don’t have to part with any money – and there are plenty of
sites to try! That said, I never pay for dating websites because I am tight, so
you can definitely stick with the free ones if that is what you want to do.
be a scary concept, but mostly there is nothing to worry about. I would suggest
starting with free dating websites as
these mean you don’t have to part with any money – and there are plenty of
sites to try! That said, I never pay for dating websites because I am tight, so
you can definitely stick with the free ones if that is what you want to do.
One of the biggest decisions to what dating website to
choose. There are so many niche ones out there, but if you’re taking the plunge
for the first time I would suggest one of the more general ones. That way, you
can get a feel for whether online dating is for you and how much you like it.
Whether you want to use a website or an app is again a personal decision and
one you may want to play around with a little before you decide. Remember, you
can usually delete dating profiles so if you think a website isn’t for you, don’t
be afraid to do this and try something new.
choose. There are so many niche ones out there, but if you’re taking the plunge
for the first time I would suggest one of the more general ones. That way, you
can get a feel for whether online dating is for you and how much you like it.
Whether you want to use a website or an app is again a personal decision and
one you may want to play around with a little before you decide. Remember, you
can usually delete dating profiles so if you think a website isn’t for you, don’t
be afraid to do this and try something new.
Meeting New People
Generally, most people would assume men are the first people
to message and in my experience that is often the case. That said, you should absolutely
message someone first if you like the look of them and their profile – what do
you have to lose? The worst you get back is a “no thanks”, and you can simply
move on.
to message and in my experience that is often the case. That said, you should absolutely
message someone first if you like the look of them and their profile – what do
you have to lose? The worst you get back is a “no thanks”, and you can simply
move on.
When you have swapped a few messages with someone, I would
suggest looking at getting out there and meeting someone. Online can be very
different, so going for a drink soon is my recommendation. This doesn’t have to
be a full on date or anything with lots of pressure but just the chance to
spend some time together.
suggest looking at getting out there and meeting someone. Online can be very
different, so going for a drink soon is my recommendation. This doesn’t have to
be a full on date or anything with lots of pressure but just the chance to
spend some time together.
Overcoming Nerves
I will be honest and say there is literally no quick fix for
this – you’re meeting someone new,
nerves are naturally! That said, remind yourself – what’s the worst that can happen? You’re
allowed to leave at anytime, so if a date really is that awful – leave. I know
it can be an awkward thing to leave but I have done it and so can you! Other
than that, it’s just a few slightly awkward hours and then you can go home!
this – you’re meeting someone new,
nerves are naturally! That said, remind yourself – what’s the worst that can happen? You’re
allowed to leave at anytime, so if a date really is that awful – leave. I know
it can be an awkward thing to leave but I have done it and so can you! Other
than that, it’s just a few slightly awkward hours and then you can go home!
Wear something you feel comfy in, set off in plenty of time
so you aren’t rushing and panicking and tell them you have plans after so you
can’t stay long are my 3 top tips. That way, you can leave when you need to but
also extend it if you’re having a great time.
so you aren’t rushing and panicking and tell them you have plans after so you
can’t stay long are my 3 top tips. That way, you can leave when you need to but
also extend it if you’re having a great time.
Most importantly remember dating is meant to be fun – so get
out there, enjoy it and have a good time. If one date doesn’t work out there
are whole dating websites full of people for you to meet, so why not get out
there and try again?
out there, enjoy it and have a good time. If one date doesn’t work out there
are whole dating websites full of people for you to meet, so why not get out
there and try again?
Debz Louise is a plus-size blogger based in Yorkshire. Behind many nationwide campaigns such as #WeaAreTheThey & winner of Best Blogger at the UK Plus Size Awards, she talkas about life as a plus-size 40-something woman in South Yorkshire.
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