10 Honest Thoughts On Being Loved by a Skinny Boy – Thanks to the wonder of Facebook I discovered this amazing piece by Rachel Wiley today! It isn’t the sort of thing I usually blog about, as I don’t have much to say on it – but I loved it and think it could really benefit some people!
10 Honest Thoughts On Being Loved by a Skinny Boy
Please give it a watch/read!
1.
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says ‘No, you are beautiful.’
I wonder why I cannot be both.
He kisses me
hard.
2.
My college theater professor once told me
that despite my talent,
I would never be cast as a romantic lead.
We do plays that involve singing animals
and children with the ability to fly,
but apparently no one
has enough willing suspension of disbelief
to go with anyone loving a fat girl.
I daydream regularly
about fucking my boyfriend vigorously on his front lawn.
3.
On the mornings I do not feel pretty,
while he is still asleep,
I sit on the floor and check the pockets of his skinny jeans for motive,
for a punchline,
for other girls’ phone numbers.
4.
When we hold hands in public,
I wonder if he notices the looks —
like he is handling a parade balloon on a crowded sidewalk;
if he notices that my hands are now made of rope.
5.
Dear Cosmo: Fuck you.
I will not take sex tips from you
on how to please a man you think I do not deserve.
6.
He tells me he loves me with the lights on.
7.
I can cup his hip bone in my hand,
feel his ribs without pressing very hard at all.
He does not believe me when I tell him he is beautiful.
Sometimes I fear the day he does will be the day he leaves.
8.
The cute hipster girl at the coffee shop
assumes we are just friends
and flirts over the counter.
I spend the next two weeks
mentally replacing myself with her
in all of our photographs.
When I admit this to him
we spend the evening taking new photos together.
He will not let me delete a single one of them.
9.
The phrase “Big girls need love too” can die in a fire.
Fucking me does not require an asterisk.
Loving me is not a fetish.
Finding me beautiful is not a novelty.
I am not a fucking novelty.
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says, ‘No. You are so much more’,
and kisses me
hard.
I loved it all to be honest with you, but I think my favourite part was:
Debz Louise is a plus-size blogger based in Yorkshire. Behind many nationwide campaigns such as #WeaAreTheThey & winner of Best Blogger at the UK Plus Size Awards, she talkas about life as a plus-size 40-something woman in South Yorkshire.
I can relate to the bit about when I'm feeling less than worthy, I search through my boyfriends things to see if he agrees by wanting someone else. He never does.
This is hilarious but so close to home for me. x
Love it! Beautiful, powerful and resonates so much with my fears about how my husband sees me.
So powerful. I relate to the part about looking for the punchline. I am always waiting to be the butt of a joke when a man chats me up. Too many times of getting touched up in pubs when I walk by some stranger, just so he can tell his mates he grabbed the fat girl's bum or boob or whatever part of me he thinks he has the right to assault.