Bonding with Teenage Foster Children – Bonding with teenagers is sometimes tough, and foster children might have been through a lot. They’ll need plenty of stability and safety, but they’ll also need to feel cared for, supported, and part of your family. Creating a tight bond is one of the best ways to establish your relationship, help them settle, and give you a chance to start having fun. Here are some tips to help you bond with teenage foster children.
Teenage Foster Children – Respect Their Privacy
Privacy is incredibly important to all foster children, but especially to teenagers. While you may be keen to get to know them quickly, try not to overwhelm them with questions. Instead, give them some time alone and make sure they’ve got a bedroom where they can be alone.
Teenage Foster Children – Give Them Time
Sometimes, we bond with foster children straight away. We find that we’ve got plenty in common, and they just seem to fit in with our families. But this isn’t always the case, especially with older children who might have more trauma to deal with and take longer to trust and open up. Don’t expect them to settle straight away. Give them time and space and celebrate small improvements. If you are worried or need more support, you can get plenty of fostering help at orangegrovefostercare.co.uk.
Teenage Foster Children – Get to Know Them
Getting to know a teenager can be tricky and will take time. But make sure you are talking to them and asking about their interests. If face-to-face conversations are tough, talk in the car or over meals. Take an interest in their hobbies and ask them to tell you about their interests.
Teenage Foster Children – Ask Open Questions
Instead of questions like “Did you have a nice day?” ask “What did you do today?” or “What did you enjoy at school today?” to encourage more than monosyllabic answers and groans.
Teenage Foster Children – Put Rules in Place
Household rules can help teenagers to settle in while giving them clear boundaries. This can help with behaviour but also make bonding easier than it would be if they were never sure where they stood. Things like no phones at the dinner table or in their room at night, no screens until they are ready for school, and meals and bedtimes are a great start.
Teenage Foster Children – Make Plans Together
Teenagers like to be involved and can hate being told what to do. Instead of planning things for them and telling them what is going on, try to involve them as much as possible. Things like planning meals for the week together, giving them input as to what you do at the weekend, and asking where they’d like to go on holiday will give them some autonomy and help them to feel respected.
Teenage Foster Children – Enjoy Family Dinners
Eating meals together at the table means that the whole family has an opportunity to spend time together away from other distractions every day. This is great for bonding.
Teenage Foster Children – Create a Fun Routine
Routines like bedtimes and mealtimes are great, but things like a weekly movie or games night can be a great bonding tool.
Bonding with teens can be tough, but it will happen with patience, understanding and kindness. Try to set some rules and get into routines as soon as possible to give them the stability they need to open up.
*Collaborative post
Debz Louise is a plus-size blogger based in Yorkshire. Behind many nationwide campaigns such as #WeaAreTheThey & winner of Best Blogger at the UK Plus Size Awards, she talkas about life as a plus-size 40-something woman in South Yorkshire.
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